The Onion Chooses The iPad As One Of The Most Influential People Of 2010
We easily could have written about Steve Jobs, the iconic CEO of Apple, and adequately described the iPad in that predictable context. But instead, we made the radically unorthodox decision to grant this product—a one-and-a-half-pound wafer of aluminum and glass, mind you—the same status accorded to members of the human race. You’ve already read through a number of stories constructed around people, but just when you expected to encounter another, we pulled the rug right out from under you.
This year, we are choosing a computer as one of the most influential people of 2010.
Anyway, not to brag, but we’re pretty fucking proud of ourselves.
Yes, you should be. At least you didn’t realize Mark Zuckerberg was worth a price in 2010.
Later today starting at 5:00 PM ET (2:00 PM PT) Apple will hold the Q4 earnings call during which the company will announce their financial results. An audio-only live streaming will be available at apple.com/quicktime/qtv/earningsq410. As usual, we’ll offer a breakdown of the results and have a post in the homepage with continually updating notes from the earnings call.
Apple is expected to post blockbuster sales in this quarter, even after all the Antennagate issues this summer. Analysts have predicted roughly 6 million iPads sold during Q4 2010, 13 million iPhones and 4 million Macs. We’ll know the whole truth in 10 hours.
Apple is set to offer a preview of the next Mac operating system (allegedly called “Lion”) on Wednesday and Apple’s stock is currently trending at $314.
Today we saw the return of the 2nd generation iPod shuffle as a smaller, 4th generation upgrade that features VoiceOver and a familiar scroll wheel in pale yet lovely shades of silver, blue, green, orange, and pink. Arriving in similar hues with savvy graphite and slick (PRODUCT)RED coats, the iPod nano has truly become the nano charm I’ve always wanted: a no-camera, no-video mini music player featuring an interactive multitouch interface and a clip-able form factor that’s perfect for my morning jog. I’m incredibly satisfied with this year’s offerings, and the click-and-go functionality of Apple’s latest iPods are great.